man: when you dress like that it's like putting a steak in front of a dog. what do you expect?

woman: *proves that even dogs have discipline*

man: wHat!!!!!11!!!?????? WHY ??????????????????????????????????? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMPARING US FREE-THINKING MALE CITIZENS TO DOGS????????????????????/ FEMINISM IS MISANDRY!!!!!1!!!!!111!! WHERE DID OUR MEN'S RIGHTS GO

gnarly:

friend: can you go buy something for me at the store ill give you the money

me: ughhhhhhhh

friend: you can buy something for yourself too with my money

me:

image

(via breakinq)

"

This is the chemical formula for love:

C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2
dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin.

It can be easily manufactured in a lab, but overdosing on any of them can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.

Let that sink in.

"
- (via mrzim)

(Source: misschelly19, via writing-with-a-blade)

"

One.
You see her for the first time and she’ll walk right past you like you are a crack in the wall and she is a skyscraper with her head so high in the air and when you can’t sleep you’ll think about the way her eyes strayed into yours for a moment too long before breaking away and disappearing into the crowd of people.

Two.
She’ll look both ways before telling you she loves you under her breath and when she hugs you her eyes scan the empty room as if the walls had eyes and ears and mouths that could give you away.

Three.
When she’s curled up on your lap shaking with mismatched breaths you’ll wonder how someone who looked like she carried mountains on her shoulders could crumble so easily in your arms like the tornado in her mind finally hit her and knocked her off her feet.

Four.
In half-light she’ll run her fingers over your arms like she is reading words carved into your skin, binding them together into the perfect metaphor and you’ll hear it playback in your head at 4am when your head runs wild with thoughts of her.

Five.
You’ll find a safe haven on rooftops and abandoned rooms where she’ll set fire to your insides with hushed breaths between kisses planted perfectly on your lips and make you wonder how dangerous it is to play with wild flames while your body is made of paper.

Six.
You’ll stare God right in the eye and tell him that if loving her was a sin then you want no place in heaven with him because the way her lips fit perfectly on your neck is a type of paradise you’ll never forget.

"
- The six stages of falling in love with her. // by rb  (via splitterherzen)

(via violent-tales)